I read this via Craigslist a long time back and have been thinking of posting it ever since. It’s an original post by a 25 year old woman who couldn’t understand why nobody who worked at Wall Street would date her, even though she was much better looking that their wives/girlfriends. First read her question and then the response that she gets, from one of the investment bankers. It’s a little long, but totally worth it, especially if you enjoy reading Finance jargon. 🙂
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The Girl’s Question:
What am I doing wrong? Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?Here are my questions specifically:
– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth
A Response That Could Not Be Put Any Better:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I
see it.Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful ” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
[A Round of Applause From Me]
-Via Streetside Investor
Time and Again 
I actually read it in a forwarded email long ago, gleefully sent to me by 50-something director of my company. Don’t discuss him on my blog. 🙂
Funny… kinda dark humour stuff! 😀
Poonam- Cool 🙂 I really like this forward. Somehow, it sends the right message to all those women out there who think that getting a rich guy is the perfect solution to all their problems.
Balu- Yeah, I agree. I’m amazed that there are women who believe that living off a guy’s money is fine, just because they are “beautiful”, which will fade away anyway…give me brains any day. 😛
I got this as a forwarded mail sometime back and I laughed for a long time. That girl would not have known what hit her. LOL 🙂
I have never read this. But even before I read the response to that girl’s plea I felt similarly to what the guy said. She sounded so cold and unreal.
This forward (if it is genuine) can be easily turned around. Just make a man who is making pots of money make that plea…something like “Oh I am making so much money and why can’t I get a beautiful woman, so many men who are making less money than me are getting more beautiful women” and then have a woman respond. The joke will be on the guy.
@ Ruhi: I read the original mail exchange some months ago, and dare I say everyone knows which I-Bank and which person the reply originated from as well. 🙂 The bank refused to deny or confirm anything which is Hollywood-speak for “um, well, yes, so?”
I am with Nita on this. I know enough guys who have tonnes of money, but nothing remotely interesting about them or who are too picky or who dread commitment. Most of them _are_ suckers for lookers, who dine and wine with them on their expenses, and then leave them for the next loaded person or the person they might marry. These men may not go on Craigslist but that does not mean that the real life joke is not already on them.
That said, the girl is on to a basic fact of life. The only people who tell you money does not buy you happiness are those who are loaded and unlikely to part with their wealth any time soon. You know why? Because money – lack of it – is one of the most important sources of marital strife and breakdown. And the values of our parents’ generation do not apply.
Besides, who are Indians to laugh at any of this? We are the champions of arranged marriage. Arranged marriages follow exactly this sort of spec-sheet scrutiny all the time. It is just that it is done quietly and therefore the reality does not surface till it may be too late.
I agree with what Nita said. This girl was sounding as if she was literally trying to sell her looks but the guy gave her one hell of an answer.
@ Amit:
I’m sure the girl knew exactly what will hit her and bring her down. That’s the reason she mentioned something to the tune of “I’m beautiful and at least not pretentious and am clear about what I want”. Anyone who posts such an ad at Craigslist, which is widely used and read in the US, knows what type of response he/she will get. 🙂
Nita– This entry is definitely genuine and like Shefaly mentions, most of us know who actually posted the reply. 🙂 To answer your second question, I know the response I would like to give (in Financial terms, of course):
You have sh*t loads of money and I wonder why you’re hanging around at Craigslist, which is free. I’m sure you can afford to hire a shrink who charges $100/hr for personal consultation, and if you’re really lucky, you might even be able to lease her. Because of the recent downturn in the US economy, specially in the Financial Services, who knows if you’ll still make $500k next year. From what I’ve heard, most of you guys got a horrible bonus. What if you lose your job? How would I face the rest of the society if you make me leave our Central Park Apartment and stay in a dingy hole somewhere in one of the suburbs? I need to assess my risk-return profile. Unfortunately, I’m risk averse and would like to invest in a safer bet. Plus, the probability of a rich guy like you cheating on me with another pretty lady is very high. If the market changes, then I’ll reconsider my investment, and for that, I’ll hire an expensive Investment Manager like you. Deal? 😉
@ Shefaly:
I have read lots of research that indicate the fact that the guys who work in Financial Services industry are some of the biggest cheaters. 🙂 And I don’t doubt it one bit. I’ve seen the behavior of lots of these people, and it is quite unflattering.
If I start talking about arranged marriages, then I won’t even be able to stop. Maybe it worked in the previous generation, but I have a feeling that with more number of women becoming independent, this system will soon break down. People these days don’t see any reason in believing that their parents should get to decide who the ideal life partner should be, including me. Oh, and the added burden of being ‘chaste’ in our society. 🙂
Ish- Yes, it did seem so. Actually, there are lots of women out there who think that their looks should be the ticket to everything in life. Probably they don’t even realize that nobody’s going to look at them the day they start looking old. You must have heard about THE famous gossip columnist Julia Allison? In case you haven’t, her blog http://juliaallison.tumblr.com is definitely worth a visit. She makes it a point to post ALL the conversations (private of course) that make her look good. Not to mention, she also posts at least 5 pics of herself every single day, along with a detailed analysis of her clothes. She shot into “fame” after she started a blog called http://jakobandjulia.com/ , where she tried to publicly save her relationship with her then boyfriend Jakob (who is quite intelligent, btw). Take a look at both the blogs. I swear you’ll love it. Btw, I don’t know why such bimbos like nerds? Is it a way of getting over their complex of not having brains? Something like “Look, I’m pretty enough to even make nerds fall in love with me!”. Oh, and read her blog, you’ll realize that she’s really eyeing for a biggie.
Ruhi, thats a good answer. 😆 You could add perhaps…”you might be bankrupt tomorrow, but my beauty could well last forever…because I would prefer to marry a guy who sees my inner beauty. Beauty is after all in the eyes of the beholder. And guys like you who want to trade their money for a relationship aren’t the kind of guys who are capable of understanding what inner beauty is all about!
yoohoo!! whatsup! longtime!! this is an old old forwarded email as many have already pointed out!! but thats besides the point!! i see the new theme!! how?? 🙂
Did anyone ever get a picture of her?
@ Nita:
Great addition! 🙂 I forgot about splitting beauty into inner and outer beauty. That was some nice thinking on your part.
Pallav- Long time mate! 🙂 Yes, lots of people seem to have read this one. I got a CSS upgrade…that explains my new theme.
thelyonsden- I don’t think so. Wouldn’t we all love to see how beautiful she is? 😉 Btw, I loved your company website. Very nicely designed.
So that was a true story ? hmmm I got this as a forwarded email few weeks back… 🙂
beautiful….
i liked the guy’s response more than the girl’s whining.
Very interesting !!! Nice to read it …
@ dinsan:
Guess so 🙂
Ankur, Joshua- Thanks 🙂
nice read and three cheers to the guy !
Maybe I should start reading forwarded mails nowonwards!
Xylene, Anand- Thanks 🙂
change the line into,
Iam still impressed by her honesty, confidence and tongue in cheek humor ( desired or incidental) 🙂
Ruhi: Deleted your previous comment. So, if a lady walks up to you and tells you that I want to marry you for your money, you’ll be impressed? 😉
Oh, I guess I was not clear. Ok, here is what I wanted to write,
To be honest, no matter how materialistic or a gold digger this girl sounds, I am still impressed by her honesty, confidence and tongue in cheek humor ( desired or incidental) 🙂
Ruhi: See, you need to be careful with your words. 😛
“So, if a lady walks up to you and tells you that I want to marry you for your money, you’ll be impressed? 😉 ”
Well, first of all, I dont need money for a woman to come & propose me for marriage..I think even without much money Iam pretty cool and desirable..:P
On a serious note, I guess it’s the whole context which makes the girl look interesting in her email..the way she has justified what she wants and her ‘on your face’ argument..:)
..ofcourse, nobody will be impressed if a woman just says that I wanna marry you for money..
@ lallopallo:
Haha! 😀 That was some reply, eh? I was only kidding.
And that is why they say that even if you like someone online, you still need to meet that person before making a decision 😉
Well, even though we are rich or not, man or woman, come on… when we die, will we bring all our wealth to the other world? hehe i dont think so, we will be like a dust, no one will remember us, and the best part is we will probably end up in HELL, hehe
Hmmm, maybe in Hell you can have a bunch of Gold, yeah the Flame or hell is shiny like a Gold , eh? hehe
Get a real , the end of the world will be here soon, lol
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@nita
u seem to be some sort of feminazi. The event took place, and was circulated as funny email/ported in jokes category of the blog.
Why are you taking this so seriously and trying to make this again as man guilty vs woman always pure issue. cant u have some plain enjoyment on some story?
in short, we are all human, every human has too many imperfections (otherwise he/she would have been god), but it was plain silly to have her posted this kinda note publicly on craigslist