General ramblings

Three Men

(Picture symbolizes hope and funnily, shows Liberty Island- which was the Port of Entry for most immigrants to the United States. What I’m facing is something to do with immigration too)

I’ve been going through a difficult period in my life. Lots going on and nothing is in my hands. I can only play the wait and watch game. The worst part is, this might affect my career. I know that this is not the end of my life and even if things don’t go my way, life will go on and I’ll find something else to do. I’ve been in a melodramatic mood since the past couple of days, hardly sleeping, hardly eating, rejecting invitations by friends to go out for a drink. You get the scene.

Then I saw three different people last evening, who seemed to be facing greater troubles compared to me. I was waiting in the parking lot of my company, in my car, waiting for my friend to join me. A man on a wheelchair rolled out. I’ve seen this man before. He opened the door of his car, threw his suitcase in the backseat. Next, he glided on to the driver’s seat, dismantled his wheelchair and threw that on to the backseat too. He lifted both his legs, one by one and literally kept them in the car, as if they were dead objects. Which I suppose they were. Semi-dead. And he drove on. As if that was the most natural thing to do. Then I looked at these women walking around in high heels. Did they know how fortunate they were? Their legs could also bear the burden of those high heels!

I was driving back home and on my way, stopped at a gas station to get some soda and chocolates. That’s when I saw the second man- he was bending over a crutch and trying to cross the small lane. In the process, he was holding up a couple of cars behind him. It’s weird that the car closest to him went on advancing at a slow speed instead of stopping completely, and waiting for the man to fnish crossing the street. The man felt so guilty/awkward/uncomfortable because he was making these cars wait. I felt really bad that these SOBs were making him feel so.

Anyway, I drove on and ended up going to a full fledged grocery store next, because I needed to buy some alcohol. The third man was a Salvation Army man, standing outside the grocery store, ringing a bill in this bitter cold. Small donations are what he was looking for. I bought the alcohol and was walking out of the store, when I saw him sitting on a bench inside the store, coughing profusely. The cold weather and the wind was obviously too much for him to take. After he felt sufficiently warmed up, he resumed his duty of ringing the bell. I can’t even begin to tell you how upset this made me. I donated some $$$ and got back to my car in an even more sullen mood.

Were these three gentlemen trying to teach me something? I think so. People have greater miseries in this world and here I am, wallowing over mine. Yet, I can’t help it. My misery is my own and I can’t seem to find a solution. I wish I could leave all of this, stop being so materialistic and put my life to good use- take care of old people, poor people, people truly in need and stop trying to be “efficient” (yeah…the cliched stuff).


10 thoughts on “Three Men

  1. sometimes when we are down in our life or when we are really frustrated we have this feeling that,everything is going wrong for us and all misfortune is happening to me only…then we meet or see people like whom you have mentioned here and we get to realize that actually how lucky and fortunate we are….nice post really good…

  2. Ruhi, I thought you were going through something and what made you realise how lucky you were was when you realised that you have completely and total bodily health. But that said and done, I think I do not think you should do what you said in your last few lines. If these feelings come out of a feeling at being at a dead end, they may not be right decision. Everyone is suited for different kinds of work and you should do something which is suited to your temperament and something that will give you complete emotional satisfaction. At least that is what I feel. Ups and downs are a normal part of life and each one of us goes through them. All I can say is Don’t give up!. From what I know of you through your blog you are a fighter and I know you are going to be out of this soon!

  3. Whenever you are feeling low, always think about people who have bigger troubles. There are people in this world who don’t know where their next meal is coming from. We are leading a very fortunate life!
    Cheer up. Life is like a sine wave. It will definitely go up! 😀

  4. lallopallo says:

    Ruhi, hope you are feeling better. From whatever little I know about you through your blog and otherwise, you always come across as somebody who is mature beyond her age and could take care of herself.
    I wont undermine your problems or simply tell you to cheer up, because I know it’s not that simple. Neither I have any quick fix solutions for yours or anybody else’s problems. But, if it makes you feel better, let me tell you that everybody is more or less sailing in the same boat, irrespective of what people say or realize. As Woody Allen says is Annie Hall, “Life is divided into two compartments only: horrible and is horrible for the kinds mentioned by you in your post everybody else is when you go through life, you should be happy that you are lucky to be in miserable state and not horrible state” lol
    On a positive note, however, I do believe that it’s possible to be happy in life, but like everything else we have to work for it. Also, it’s important to always keep a long term perspective and not bother much about small battles lost here and there. As goes the saying, I have lost a battle not the war. 🙂

  5. All the best for your life and i think God does show us someone once in a while who are less priviledge than we are so that we would not lose hope and also show us those who are more priviledge than us, so that we will not be arrogant… Keep faith (in whatever you belive) and everything will be fine! 🙂

  6. I wish I could leave all of this, stop being so materialistic and put my life to good use- take care of old people, poor people, people truly in need and stop trying to be “efficient”

    This is very difficult thing to achieve (than you think you know). We feel like this when we feel its nearly the end (or as Nita said Dead End) which is not the case (for you).
    You know I recently faced similar phase of my life and I remember you comment there. 🙂 Don’t think about anything, feel dumb, act dumb, talk dumb, let your brain relax. Its your (girls) most hardworking body part 😀
    And please control social thoughts to a level, or we will have to call you Mother Ruhi Teresa 😀

  7. @ Ruhi

    We all react emotively to such experiences in life. But when someone as bright as you thinks “I wish I could leave all of this, stop being so materialistic and put my life to good use- take care of old people, poor people, people truly in need and stop trying to be “efficient””, I feel it is worth mentioning a couple of things:

    1. The two are not exclusive pursuits; you can do both at the same time and that does require you to be efficient with your time.

    2. Secondly, if you were to be a service deliverer/ carer yourself, you help one person. If you are an efficient professional, you can fundraise and you can share your business acumen and time with organisations that help people in need to achieve a bigger societal impact. Much as 1-to-1 relationships soothe us more, sometimes doing the uncomfortable thing is necessary to bring bigger changes in the world.

    In my assessment, you are cut out for those bigger things. I doubt the world would like to lose that.

  8. Ruhi, peace will be onto you the moment you put all the blame on god and free yourself. Read & when you have the time.

    Just to add, it is fantastic that you feel your worries are minor compared to others – but they are yours and however minor, you need to put a brave front and face them. Start with the best intetions & do your best – problems will automatically clear away.

  9. @all- thanks for your comments and your support 🙂 I don’t know how to respond individually, because I have only a couple of things to say-

    1. I know what the problem is. Unfortunately, nothing is in my hands and this is what complicates everything.
    2. Getting the person who is supposed to be doing the job for you is so darn difficult!
    3. I hope my ambition of achieving greater things doesn’t remain incomplete because of this hiccup that I’m encountering.
    4. This year seems to have been really horrible for me. First, the accident, and now…this. I can’t wait for 2009!

    Raman- Your links are giving me “404 Error”.

    Shefaly- I would love to help my organization. Only if this mess doesn’t threaten my acumen.

    Suda- That I already am. 😛 I love doing things for charity.

    Sakhi- Thanks 🙂 That’s the plan, even though I’m not really a firm believer of God.

    Lallo- The Woody Allen quote just worked. The only problem is that misery in a movie lasts for only 2.5 hours max, whereas here…it’s forever. 😦

    Reema- It does! 🙂

    Rohan, Amit- Thanks 🙂 Hopefully, I’ll reach the end soon…ZzzZ.

    Nita- I regard myself as a strong individual too and that’s the reason that these temporary setbacks unnerve me. I’m not used to coming across such bureaucratic hassles. Only if things were in my hands! Thanks for your support, always. 🙂

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