Where is Ruhi?

I went “offline” in the sense that I completely stopped blogging. It’s not that I got bored of it or anything…just had a lot of other stuff lined up and didn’t know how to prioritize. 🙂 Thank you all for reading and commenting. It feels nice to be missed. I’m sorry for not keeping in touch though. I can really disappear if I want/need to.

The WordPress page’s layout has changed- quite a bit. Just noticed it a minute or two ago, when I was trying to log in. I wasn’t even sure if I’ll be able to guess my password at one go. Yes, it’s been that long. I started on this new job about three months back and it’s been an uphill battle to try and wake up by 7 am and be in office by 8 am. I’m proud of the fact that I’m almost always on time. And what is my job related to? IT of course.

My folks came over from India for a couple of weeks. I finally took my long, impending trip to New York City. I so wanted to watch Woody Allen perform at Hotel Carlyle. Lallo, you can be happy now. Good enough reason to visit NYC again. I could write pages and pages about my trip. Unfortunately, I really don’t have the words. Some of the places that I visited- Times Square, Brooklyn Bridge, Manhattan Bridge, Queens, Soho, Liberty Island and The Status of Liberty, Ellis Island, Empire State Building, Wall St, 5^th Avenue (did lots of “window shopping”), ate Brooklyn style pizza in some Italian restaurants, walked by foot and traveled by the famous subways all the time, ate honey roasted almonds, learned how to read the complicated subway map, Trinity Church, Ground Zero (site of WTC) of course. It’s only when you are in Manhattan that you realize how easy it is to fall in love with this city and New Yorkers. Woody Allen, this trip was for you.

Also heard that J.K Rowling is releasing “The Tales of Beedle the Bard” for everyone. I’d already predicted this, in fact. Who’s buying the $100 leather bound version?

I did some movie watching too! My top favorites are The Dark Knight (9.5/10), Turtles Can Fly (9/10), Terminator 2 (9/10), and Omkara (8.5/10). And finally, I bought the entire collection of Decalogue by Krzysztof Kieslowski off Amazon.

Now for some NYC pics-

Gifts

It’s funny how people forget to inform their friends that they are getting married, or how they feel that an electronic, scanned version of the wedding card, distributed through e-mail, Orkut or Facebook is enough. This is quite uncharacteristic of Indians, who take great pride in throwing lavish weddings, inviting thousands of people, preparing a ten course meal and wearing every possible Gold/Diamond jewelery that they possess. Times have surely changed. Unfortunately, I’m of that ‘age’ when all my friends are getting married or in the process of tying the knot. Sometimes I wonder if mass e-mailing electronic wedding cards suffices the purpose? Where is the personal touch? Perhaps I’m asking for too much.

I have this friend back home, who is very dear to me. She’s been a friend to me when I was facing great difficulties. After I shifted here, we e-mailed each other religiously for a couple of months. Then the number of mails that were exchanged started reducing. Finally, we realized that we don’t have much to talk about, except for the weather and some old memories. She is not the types who makes international calls nor is she the types who uses the internet much. Quite surprising, I know. So, it was mostly me who would try to communicate in some way or the other.

She got in touch with me a couple of days back (through a social networking site, of course), informing me that she’d gotten engaged a couple of months back and that she’s finally getting married by the end of this year. I was genuinely happy for her and gave her a call to congratulate her. We spoke for around 15 minutes. During the entire conversation, she appeared distracted, was busy changing her clothes, spoke in a monologue informing me about the guy and the marriage plans, forgot to ask me what I’ve been up to all these months, and then hurriedly informed me that someone’s at the door and she needs to get going. She asked me to call her back the next day to talk some more.

After a couple of hours, she emailed me a list of the things that she wants for her wedding. It doesn’t matter that she asked me to buy loads of stuff- I would have bought her something nice either way. What distresses me is the fact that she didn’t even ask me once how I am doing. The e-mail only contained a list of the things that she wanted me to mail her. Nothing else.

Random Act of Kindness

I just got gifted $30 by POBox42111 and I hardly know him! In fact, he commented for the first time in my post, Desi Connection, only a week ago. I’m quite surprised and pleased/shocked at the same time. I guess it doesn’t take too much to make someone happy.

That’s a sum total of two random acts of kindness that I came across this year- First, the lady who helped me after my car accident on the freeway and second, POBox42111. I’m amazed how some people like POBox are so big hearted. I know that money is not a big thing, but still, it never occurred to me that it takes so little/much to make someone smile. 🙂 I have a lot to learn.

My mom asked me- What’s his name?

Me: POBox42111

Mom: You mean you don’t know his name?

Me: No!

Dear POBox, I’m sure you are reading this post. I owe you one and I hope you will let me do something for you if you come to this side of the country. I have no doubt that you are not like other desis that I come across here ever so often. 😉 Anyone who tips $7 for a $13 haircut cannot be bad! I’m not going to give you a gift in return because that would mean that I’m trying to settle accounts here. I will hope that sometime, in the future, I’ll be able to put a smile on your face too. I really appreciate your generosity and I’m very bad with words; so this does seem like an awkward post.

Ish, this time, I had an OMGWTF moment. 😀

I’ve used $15 to get myself a personal domain. Still have $15 which I don’t need.

Desi Connection

I’ve realized that majority of the Indians are the same everywhere, be it India or the US. In fact, US brings out the worst in Indians. My first experience with an Indian couple, in fact, was on the very first day I came to the US. It so happened that I was getting late for my connecting flight and being new to this country (just stepped out from the plane that brought me to the US from India) and the system, I was in need of some desperate help. I made the mistake of talking to the Indian couple behind me. This is how the conversation went:

Me: (Really worried and tensed) Hi! I have a connecting flight in less than 30 minutes and this waiting line for the security clearance is very long. Do you have any idea what I should do?

The husband (typical Indian) replied: No.

Yes, that’s it. That’s all that he told me and that too in a very rude tone. His condescending tone was too much for me to take. I really got pissed off. Spoke to an American Airlines employee and then got ahead in the line and managed to catch the connecting flight.

Lesson Learned: Ignore all Indians in the US henceforth. Don’t even look in their direction.

I guess almost all the Indians who come here have similar experiences with other fellow Indians. The end result is that we prefer to stare at our shoes instead of looking at an Indian’s face. Even if you come across a desi by mistake, you need to act as if you didn’t see him/her. And never ever smile or say “Hi!”. Greetings are reserved only for Americans here. You can continue to be your usual rude self in front of other desis. And you have the full freedom of being a kanjoos too. Tip a little less in Indian restaurants. Who cares what other desis think? Correct?

What made me write such a sarcastic post? That’s incident no. 2! I was going through some classifieds because I really need to buy some household items. A desi was selling a very nice vacuum cleaner for a good price. So, I called her up and ask her for a picture and some specifications. She took roughly 50 minutes to email me a picture- something that should have taken only 15 minutes, at the max. I can hear you saying that maybe she couldn’t find her digital camera or maybe she is not very comfortable with the camera! Okay, her being late can be discounted. What happened next can’t be discounted! I called her back and told her that I’ll be there at her place in an hour to pick up the vacuum cleaner and that I’ll pay her in cash.

I got ready and was about to sit in the car when my cell phone rang. Usually, I don’t answer my cell phone, unless it’s a professional call. Thank God I answered it. This is how the conversation went:

She: Hi! My name is XYZ and you spoke to me sometime back regarding the vacuum cleaner.

Me: Of course, I remember. How are you?

She: Fine, thank you. I just wanted to let you know that the vacuum cleaner has been sold.

Me: Sold? Yes, to me right? In fact, I’ll be there at your place in 15-20 mins. I’m about to leave.

She: No no…I mean…someone else came now and they liked the vacuum cleaner and took it.

Me: Took it? What do you mean took it? I thought I told you that I’ll be there at your place in an hour’s time?

She: I thought that you’re not too sure…so I gave it to them.

Me: (Temper rising)- That’s very unfair of you. I was just about to leave for your place. You could have at least called me up once before giving it to someone else.

She: I’m sorry…I really thought that you don’t want it.

Me: Don’t want it? Then why would I tell you that I’ll be coming to get it? I don’t have all the time in the world to do window shopping at your place.

She: I’m sorry…

Me: Thanks a lot. No problem.

(Literally slammed the cell phone).

Lesson learned: Nothing ever changes Indians. They are all the same. Just put them in charge of the US and see what’ll happen to the professionalism level and the corporate structure of this country.

Maybe I’m being very general in my observation, but that’s me. Dealing with a desi here makes me feel as if I’m back in India. It’s only when I enter an Indian restaurant and eat a really horrible plate of pav bhaji for $5.99 that I realize that maybe…I’m not in India. The Indian food here just doesn’t taste the same. It tastes too “home made”. Instead of pav bhaji buns, I was given hot dog buns. WTF?! If only the Indian food level here would improve…

A Man Kills His Wife on Grounds of Adultery and Cheating

I read stuff like this all the time, but I don’t know why this one’s stuck to my mind since the past 36 hours or so. Some newspapers have built articles based on Orkut scraps left behind by people, known and unknown. Since when has Orkut become an authentic source of information? I remember reading similar articles when Minal Panchal was shot in the Virginia Tech massacre.

Perhaps this is good reason to activate those privacy settings in your Orkut scrapbook- even if you happen to die, people won’t hound your scrapbook. Google, of course, won’t delete your account, unless it has been notified to do so. I don’t know the exact procedure, but I’m guessing that it is very elaborate.

During times like these, I feel happy that I don’t use Orkut and that I’m not much of a Facebook user either.

Coming back to the killing case, does anything ever justify taking someone else’s life? For most of us, the answer would be no. It is only when the answer is a Yes that we get to read about it in the media. If you think that everyone is condemning this act, then think again. You will be surprised to know that there are tons of people out there (mostly men) who support Amit Budhiraja’s killing act. I was reading the scraps left in their Orkut profiles and going by that, people have given various justifiable reasons-

“..If the story is true about the affair, I don’t condemn your decision.. I feel sorry for the pain you must have gone through, insecure or not, there’s no man in this world who is going to have the woman he truly loves even in the thoughts of another person…” – If every man would kill a woman because of adultery and justice is meted out in this manner, then why bother having a judiciary?

“…You saved more than 3 people by killing just 2, you saved your parents, yourself and your relatives from the dowry harrassment!! You set the right example for others.”- Which brings me to the question of Dowry Harassment. The Dowry Laws in India have been deemed inadequate by lots of people, who feel that a woman can always file a false dowry harassment case against her husband and put the husband and her in-laws behind bars. Is it so simple? Of course not. So why exactly are we over-simplifying this issue?

I’m not denying the fact that there are women out there who misuse the law and undermine the genuineness of some other dowry cases. But an eye for an eye will make the entire world blind.

There are others out there who don’t know the couple personally, yet are hasty in drawing conclusions based on shaky premises. For example- Some are accusing Rinku of adultery and of cheating. Do we know her side of story? All that’s come to light is a 6 page suicide note written by Amit. And there are some more who have taken their hatred one step further and have abused Rinku’s office colleague, Arvind Kejariwal, of having an illicit affair with a married woman and for being responsible for the deaths. Why blame him? Why blame anyone?

I came across this quote sometime back, that tries to explain the psychology behind cheating-

“I’ve thought a lot about the psychology of cheating and reckon it flows largely from one thing – you don’t value yourself as a person: if you did, you’d end a relationship that was not fulfilling because, knowing how valuable you are, you’d be sure to find someone else.”

Why not just keep quiet, take a note of the matter at hand and move on? You don’t need to physically end someone’s life. This can also be achieved through mental torture…something like what V.S Naipaul confesses to have done. Isn’t he a murderer then? Why not put him behind bars?

The Longest Moment of My Life

I would like to apologize to everyone for disappearing and for not responding to your lovely comments. It’s very uncharacteristic of me for sure. I have good reason for it though- I have been a little caught up with the relocation work. And unfortunately, on my way to St. Louis, I met with a deadly accident…and almost got killed. I’m still recuperating from the after effects and have had absolutely no time to engage in blogging or to reply to your comments. Please forgive me for that. I will respond to your comments as I get time.

It’s surprising that some of the first people whom I told anything about the accident are my friends from WordPress- Ish and Shefaly. I thank everyone else who inquired about my well being too. I’m writing this post to answer everyone’s emails and questions at one go- it’s much easier for me to do this. I’m physically fit (except for some bruises), but I’ll take a long time to be fine mentally. I’ve only witnessed accidents as a observer. Being there, experiencing it, and not knowing where you’ll remain alive, is something that I wouldn’t want anyone to ever find out. Not even my worst enemy.

I had been packing round the clock since the past one week and was quite relieved when I finally drove on the highway, towards my new home. Nothing could go wrong. I made the mistake of getting my tires checked and inflated before driving on the highway and this might be a possible reason why my car tires blew up. All of a sudden, I lost control, and my car started swinging like a pendulum in the two lane highway. Before I could even think, I could see and smell fumes, the car skidded and hit the metal road barriers to my left, ripped through it and landed on the opposite side of the highway, where the traffic was flowing in the opposite direction. There were three 16 wheeler trucks, and I found myself praying to God, wishing that I come alive through this entire ordeal. I don’t know how the trucks managed to stop. But it’s a miracle that they did. What is even more surprising is that none of the cars on the highway hit my car, else I would have surely died. Everything possible (except for the boot of the car) broke. The door wouldn’t open. Somehow, I pulled myself out of the car with some guidance from my friend. Both of us were relieved that we were alive.

Those couple of seconds stretched for an eternity. I could feel as if everything was happening in slow motion and that I was living the final moments of my life. Perhaps my inner strength guided me to go on. Dying in a road accident is definitely not the kind of death that I wanted.

The Highway Patrol arrived within a minute or two. He wrote an accident report and pretty much told me on my face “It’s your problem”. I couldn’t care less about his rudeness. I was too worried about all my electronics. Yes, my electronics. The minute I found that me and my friend are safe, I made sure that we got our laptops, GPS navigator, cell phones, iPods, Cameras etc. out of the car. 😀

A very kind lady called Christina stopped for us and literally baby sat us. She was driving on her way back home from work. Later, in the car, she told us that she never leaves this early from work (it was 8:30 pm at the time of the accident) and it was a co-incidence/miracle that she’d left so early. She was behind those 16 wheeler trucks when our car was skidding and was shocked when she saw the condition of our car. She told me, “I don’t know how you people are alive. Seeing your car…I never thought that the people inside would have survived. What is a miracle is the fact that you don’t even have a single scratch on your body! Perhaps God wanted me to take you back to your home safely…and that’s the reason he made me leave my office 30 minutes early”.

There was another thing that she said- “The only way to repay me is to pass on this deed of kindness to someone else during his/her time of need”. And I hope to do that for sure. I hope God gives me a chance to help someone.

It’s been more than 72 hours since I had that accident, but I still feel traumatized. The trauma has reduced for sure…yes. I get panic attacks when I start sweating, my stomach starts churning and my throat becomes dry. I guess everything will get better with time.

I’m in a new town…hardly know anyone…no car either. I have rented a car for now and hope to buy another one ASAP. I feel too scared to drive, even though it was not my fault.

I went to the junk yard yesterday to take out stuff from my wrecked car. I got everything back, and I’m happy about that. The car mechanic told me that only “one in twenty cars manage to break the metal barrier and land on the opposite side of the highway…and hardly anyone ever survives it”.

Having been there and seeing death so closely, I feel that this is my second life. I feel very fortunate and very happy that I’m still alive and am surrounded by people who love me.

Oh, and by the way, after the accident, I did think about the accident scene from Kryzstof Kieslowski’s movie, Blue. 🙂 It was something like that. Very movie like.

So Many Things to Do

I have so much to do in the next couple of days and I’m really fretting. I never ever rant on my blog, but I’m just about to do that. At least, my ranting will get a decent audience. Let’s get started then!

First off, I need to relocate to a new city. Find an apartment. Buy new furniture. Get the internet working there (if it already doesn’t have one pre-installed). Study for an upcoming exam. Oh, and my job search. Let’s not forget that. And mother of all tensions, I’m breaking my current lease and I need to find someone to stay in my house for the remaining couple of months. Fast. Else I’ll have to pay the remaining rent and treat it like a (costly) sunk cost. 😦 I’ll have to travel to the new city this week to find a new place and then shift sometime this weekend. I don’t know what to do and where and how to start.

I also need to sell off all my stuff here. There is no way that I’ll be able to carry all this crap. And shit loads of clothes. So, children, never buy so many clothes.

In between all this, I’m not being able to concentrate on any one thing. When I sit to study, I keep staring at my books. When I open my laptop…same thing…I keep on staring at the screen. I’m highly confused and scared. I really want to go back to being a student and forget about the “real” world. I guess I’m still not mentally ready for the transition.

Please wish me luck. I really need it.

Wiki Founder Breaks Up With Girlfriend Via Wiki

Generally, I don’t post gossip stuff. But this was too good and too controversial. Jimmy Wales, the creator of Wikipedia, first broke off with his girlfriend, Rachel Marsden through an announcement on Wikipedia. (Yes, this is worse than JakobandJulia).

Rachel Marsden, in turn, is selling two items of clothing, that belong to Jimmy Wales, on Ebay!

The current price of T shirt (while I’m writing this ridiculous post) is $102.50 and the sweater is $202.50, excluding shipping costs. Can’t believe that people are actually buying this crap. The woman is definitely smart. At least, she’s making some money from two pieces of clothing. There are 9 days and 3 hours left for the bidding to end.

This is the Ebay description:

Hi, my name is Rachel and my (now ex) boyfriend, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, just broke up with me via an announcement on Wikipedia (http://valleywag.com/362730/wikipedia-creator-jimmy-wales-dumps-girlfriend-on-wikipedia). It was such a classy move that I was inspired to do something equally classy myself, so I’m selling a couple of items of clothing he left behind, here in my NYC apartment, on eBay. Jimbo was supposed to come visit me in a couple of weeks and pick up some of his stuff, but obviously that won’t be happening now.

Both of these items have been washed, twice, with Tide extra-strength liquid detergent. Otherwise, they would not be in salable condition. I took them out of GitMo style isolation from a plastic bag in my closet (where they were placed to prevent the ongoing terrorism of my olfactory senses) and washed them out for the purposes of this auction. Even so, this particular item — a medium sized, black “Starter” brand shirt — has two white stains (one on the sleeve, as shown in the photo, and one in the back) which I have been unable to remove.

PS: Sorry that my hair is such a mess — I’m in breakup mode right now and really couldn’t be bothered.

Go and bid guys! Don’t you want to be a part of the history? Heh.

How to Solve Your Work Problems

-Via mmoabc.com

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Happy Birthday

To Me! 😀

I turned “xx” today and it’s not a nice feeling. I feel really old. The last time I felt young age-wise was when I turned 21.

Like William Butler Yeats said-

From our birthday, until we die,

Is but the winking of an eye.

or like Mark Twain said-

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Anyway, I had a surprise mid night party that was organized by a special someone and the process of adding another year got easier. By the way, do you think there’s something weird about the cake?

P.S- Don’t ask me my age. 😛 Bad manners.